Rascal - Hole Patrol.mp4
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Late one night Paddy the pilot and Mick the co-pilot were making their first transatlantic flight from Dublin to New York. As they approached Kennedy airport, they looked out the front window. \"B'jeesus,\" said Paddy \"Will ye look at how short dat runway is.\" \"You're not kiddin, Paddy\" replied Mick. \"Dis is gonna be one a' de trickiest landings you're ever gonna see,\" said Paddy. \"That's the truth I tell ya.\" replied Mick. \"Mick, when I give the signal, you put the engines in reverse\" said Paddy. \"Right, I'll be doing dat\" replied Mick. \"And den ye put de flaps down straight away\" said Paddy. \"Right, I'll be doing dat\" replied Mick. \"And den ye stamp on dem brakes as hard as ye can\" said Paddy. \"Right, I'll be doing dat\" replied Mick. \"And den ye pray to Jesus with all your soul\" said Paddy. \"I be doing dat already\" replied Mick. So they approached the runway with Paddy and Mick full of nerves and sweaty palms. As soon as the wheels hit the ground, Mick put the engines in reverse, put the flaps down, stamped on the brakes and prayed to Jesus with all of his soul. Amidst roaring engines, squealing of tires and lots of smoke, the plane screeched to a halt inches from the end of the runway, much to the relief of Paddy and Mick and everyone on board. As they sat in the cockpit regaining their composure, Paddy looked out the front window and said to Mick \"Dat has gotta be de shortest runway I have EVER seen in me whole life.\" Mick looked out the side window and replied \"Yeah Paddy, but look how wide it is.\"
Casey and McBride were coming home from a Sunday lunchtime drinking sessionwhen they stumbled over a large cadaver by the roadside. \"It's a mule,\" said one. \"No, 'tis a donkey,\" said the other. \"Here comes the parish priest, he'll settle the matter.\"\"Father Donnelly, could you help us\" asked Casey. \"Could you tell us if this is a mule or a donkey\"\"It's neither,\" said the holy man. \"It's an ass. And don't leave it there. Get a shovel and bury it.\"Ten minutes later the two boys were hard at it digging up the soil when O'Shaughnessy happened along. \"What's that you're doing, lads, digging a fox hole\" \"Not according to Father Donnelly,\" said Casey.
Flynn was sitting in the pub staring at his large glass of whiskey when a large, trouble-maker steps up next to him, grabs his drink and gulps it down in one swig. \"Well, whatcha gonna do about it\" he asks in a menacing voice, causing Murphy to burst into tears. \"Come on, man,\" the scoundrel says, \"I didn't think you'd CRY. I can`t stand to see a man crying.\" \"This is the worst day of my life,\" sobs Flynn. \"I'm a complete failure. I was late to a meeting and my boss fired me. When I got to the parking lot, I found my car had been stolen and I don't have any insurance. I took a cab home and left my wallet in the car. When I got home I found the note from my wife telling me that she has left me for another man and then my dog bit me. So I came to this bar to work up the courage to put an end to it all, I buy a drink, I drop a capsule in and sit here watching the poison dissolve; then you show up and drink the whole thing! 59ce067264